My Last Goodbye
by DesertDarkfire
Summary: Zoey Redbird has dealt with so much loss...it finally breaks her. AU-Zoey/Stark


My Last Goodbye

A/N: Inspiration for this one goes to the acoustic version of the song Apology by Alesana. Also, a couple of lines around the end came from the song I Promise You by Judith Owen. (I love both songs.) I owe many thanks to my Beta for her editing and my prereader for her purple prose. Something else. I normally never kill off main characters, but I felt like this had to be written. I own nothing. Anyhoo, READ ON!

Zoey POV

I couldn't believe it. Heath was _dead. _He would never again hold me, never call me "Zo", and never ever share his blood with me again. "I can't do it, Aphrodite. Kalona_ killed_ Heath!" She stared at me with wide, startled eyes. "Zoey, what the fuck? Calm down!" "I can't calm down. He was my consort! I loved him!" "Yes, I know. Again, I still say what the fuck." I glared at her. "I just need to be alone, Aphrodite." "Fine, whatever" she said, and she twitched out of the room. As soon as she left, I felt strangely numb, empty. Inside of me was a void and I couldn't even cry. My mind, just like the abyss inside of me, faded to nothing, and I gave myself over to the darkness.

Five months later…

I woke up reaching for him again. Then as I blinked the sleep from my eyes, I remembered what had happened to him, and then I started to cry. Soft at first, then huge heaving snot cries. I half expected Damien, the Twins, Jack or Aphrodite to check on me, but no one did. They stopped doing that four months ago. My breakdowns and crying fits are a normal thing now. I had recently started having dark thoughts about my own life and what I would do now that Heath was gone. The pain was like a burning ache that would never cease to exist. I had already decided that there was nothing left for me, not after his death. I started to get up for the day, and then sat there thinking. What could I do? Suddenly, I knew what I had to do to escape the pain. I was going to end my life.

One month later…

I knew it was going to hurt everyone, but going through this last month had been nothing except anguish and agony and loneliness and pain. I had it all planned out. We were all going back to the Isle of Capri to visit the Vampyre High Council to see the selection of the new Vampyre High Priestess. I would say I needed some fresh air, and then go to the edge of the Isle. Provided that I wasn't followed, I would then walk into the cold water. Then I would slowly fade away, and hopefully send my spirit to the Otherworld. There, I would see Heath again.

….

"And the new High Priestess is…..Avalon!" Everyone started to cheer like crazy. All of a sudden, I remembered what I came here to do. As I looked over at Stark, I felt a pang of regret. I was going to miss him. I got his attention and said "I'll be right back. I gotta get some fresh air." He smiled at me. "Ok, but if you need me, I'll come to you my lady." Then I walked out. As I walked out to the edge of the Isle, I thought about my life. In every part since second grade, there was Heath. He had been there through everything. From the "girls have cooties" phase to the middle school "sort of going out phase" to the high school dating phase to me getting Marked and moving to the House of Night phase. He was always there and, even when I was Marked, he was never afraid of me. He loved me through and through. Suddenly, I felt the cold water on my legs. It was arctic cold, like doing the polar bear plunge cold. _Well_, I thought to myself, _no turning back now_. Slowly, I walked out the rest of the way. Then I sent Stark a little nudge. "_I love you, James Stark." _ I walked out as far as I could, then swam out even farther. Then, I heard footsteps running. "ZOEY, NO!" "I'm sorry" I whispered. Both to him and to Nyx, my Goddess. Then, I faded.

…..

I looked around me and saw beautiful, brilliantly purple lavender fields. At first, I thought I was at Grandma Redbird's lavender farm, and then I _really_ looked. It was completely sunny, like, a blue sky and everything. I realized I was in the Otherworld. "You sadden me, u-we-tsi-a-ge-ya." I whirled around to face my Goddess, the personification of Night. "I'm sorry, Nyx. I just couldn't take the pain anymore. It hurt too much to live without him." She gazed lovingly at me. "I know of your struggle. I also want you to know something else." I looked up at her, puzzled. "What?" She smiled at me. "I have a gift for you. Look there." I turned around to see where she was pointing behind me, and saw the best thing I would ever see. A soft, glowing light was walking toward me. Then it changed to…._Heath_. "Hey, Zo." Tears of happiness were streaming down my face. Nyx said something to us about a blessing, but I didn't hear it. All I knew was that I was with my Heath again. I would forever be at peace.

…

Stark POV

I couldn't believe Zoey would do something like this. It just about killed me. I remembered my promise to her though. She had made me promise if something happened to her, then I would keep living. I would miss my lady, my mo bann ri, my queen, but I sure as hell wouldn't do anything like killing myself. If I did, Zoey would find a way to kill me again when I got to the Otherworld. The next thing I knew, a beautiful woman appeared before me. She had hair black as a raven's wings and eyes like the night sky. I knew who it was. _Nyx_. "_James Stark. Look at me, my son." _I got up and walked over to her. "Goddess, do you know why Zoey did this? I thought my love was enough to keep her alive." _"In a way, it was, but you see, she wanted nothing more than to see her Heath again. Although this was not the way I wished for her to do it, there is nothing you can do now. But do not fear my son. She is happy and content in the Otherworld. You will see her again someday." "_I don't mean to be demanding, but is there a way that I could see her now? Just for a few minutes." "O_f course, Stark, but only for a few moments. Then we will leave you. Know this, though. She will always be able to hear you._" Thank you, Nyx." "_You are very welcome, my son." _Then she faded and Zoey appeared. She gazed at me with regret in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Stark. I did love you, but I couldn't be without Heath anymore. Like Nyx said though, we will see each other again. If I have to, I will move heaven, hell and death to be where you are. I promise you." She was starting to fade away. "Zoey, wait!" "It's time for me to go, Stark. Remember, I promise you." After that, she faded away. I will always remember those last words. _I promise you._


End file.
